


let the whole world melt away

by SJAandDWfan



Category: The Prom - Sklar/Beguelin/Martin
Genre: F/F, also titled: emma and alyssa are soft, and the moral of the story is things don't fix themselves overnight but they do get better over time, this musical has my entire heart
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-18
Updated: 2018-12-18
Packaged: 2019-09-22 10:01:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,538
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17057702
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SJAandDWfan/pseuds/SJAandDWfan
Summary: Alyssa was so used to sneaking glances at Emma in class, and snatching moments in the band closet, and stealing kisses only when she was sure they were alone. But after the prom had happened (the real prom; the one that everyone had been invited to), all of a sudden everyone knew.Everyone knew that she was gay, and that she was in love with Emma, and that Emma was in love with her.orwhat happens in the months after the prom, and the bridges that start to be rebuilt.





	let the whole world melt away

**Author's Note:**

> so it feels like this musical has taken over my life a little bit, and i've been wanting to write a fic for a little while but it took until literally yesterday for me to flesh out an idea enough to actually write. but here we are! 
> 
> i just wanted to explore alyssa's character a little bit, and how she and emma deal with everything after the plot of the musical ends. i know that it's extremely likely that they're both canon seniors in the show buuuuut i needed to potentially fudge the timelines for the purposes of this fic so let's pretend it was junior prom. cool?
> 
> title from dance with you from the prom, because of course it is.

It took a lot of getting used to – being out at school.

Alyssa was so used to sneaking glances at Emma in class, and snatching moments in the band closet, and stealing kisses only when she was sure they were alone. But after the prom had happened (the real prom; the one that _everyone_ had been invited to), all of a sudden everyone knew.

Everyone knew that she was gay, and that she was in love with Emma, and that Emma was in love with her.

It was freeing. It felt like such a weight off of her shoulders, and yet Alyssa was having to catch herself every time her instincts told her to flinch away when Emma reached for her hand in the hallway between classes.

Emma kept telling her to cut herself some slack. It had only been a few days since the prom, after all, and it would take time for Alyssa to unlearn the things that had become ingrained while she had been in the closet.

Alyssa wished she could be more like Emma; her girlfriend was so brave, and so unapologetically herself that it made Alyssa’s heart ache sometimes. Because she longed to be that brave, too.

She told Emma that a few evenings after the prom, watching a movie together in Emma’s grandma’s living room. Emma looked down at where Alyssa was curled against her side on the couch, brushing a strand of Alyssa’s hair out of her eyes with a soft smile.

“But you _are_ that brave,” she promised. “You stood up to your mom. You came out in front of everyone. You kissed me at prom.”

Alyssa felt herself smile at the memory, of Emma’s hands cradling her face as they had drawn each other in for a kiss that she could only describe as euphoric. She’d danced with Emma, and they’d kissed, and their small-town world hadn’t imploded.

“I guess I did,” Alyssa murmured. “I just want to be able to feel that fearless all the time.”

“Keep working at it,” Emma said. “I’ll be right by your side and I promise you it will get easier, okay?”

“Okay,” Alyssa said, pushing closer and pressing a kiss to Emma’s lips. Emma’s arm tightened around Alyssa’s shoulders as the fingers of her other hand stroked along her jawline.

She’d been kissing Emma for a year and a half and she’d yet to get tired of it. Alyssa was starting to think she’d _never_ get tired of it. Even so, everything just felt so much better – so much stronger – since the prom. Almost like before that they’d been holding back even in private, unaware of that final missing sliver that had only recently slotted into place.

“I love you,” Alyssa hummed when they parted, eyes still half-closed.

Emma kissed her again, seemingly unable to help herself. “I love you, too, Alyssa,” she said. “So much.”

Alyssa settled against her again, her eyelids growing heavy as she felt Emma’s chest rise and fall rhythmically while the movie faded into the background. She didn’t know why, but Emma’s breathing relaxed her. It always had. Maybe it was because, awkward as she could be sometimes (something that Alyssa truly loved about her), Emma’s breathing was always regular, and deep, and comforting.

Alyssa supposed she’d had to do a lot of breathing exercises to keep herself from punching out the kids at school who had bullied her.

Most of the kids at school were cool with the two of them now, and their relationship. A few of the kids had even come out themselves, which had been something that had taken Alyssa by complete surprise. However, she didn’t miss the looks they got, few though they were, from some of the students that hadn’t quite come around yet.

It was nerve-wracking, but Alyssa did her best to ignore them.

 

* * *

 

 

Her mom, on the other hand, was harder to ignore.

Although she’d been promised a talk, they’d yet to work up to it. Alyssa understood that – she got that her mother didn’t want to have a gay daughter, however much that sucked for Alyssa to know.

Her mom had said that she didn’t want her to have a hard life, but surely she would’ve known that by ignoring Alyssa’s many past attempts at coming out, she’d only been making that life harder.

Alyssa wasn’t stupid. She knew that being gay wasn’t easy, especially in small-town Indiana, but she just wanted her mom to at least support her even if she hadn’t gotten her head around the idea of her daughter being a lesbian.

She could tell that her mother was trying to gather her thoughts. That much was obvious whenever they ate dinner – just the two of them at the table, as it had been for years – and Alyssa could sense her mother’s mind wandering. But as much as she wanted to, Alyssa didn’t know how to even begin this conversation.

Her mom knew she was gay. She’d probably suspected it even before Alyssa had come out, she’d been resisting it so hard. As far as Alyssa was concerned, the ball was in her mom’s court, because she didn’t know what else she could say.

Instead, she finished her dinner and announced she was going out. Her mom looked at her with a sort of dazed expression, told her to be home by curfew, and drifted off into her own little world again.

Alyssa sighed, and pulled out her phone to let Emma know she was coming over for a few hours.

 

* * *

 

 

On the last day of junior year, Kaylee and Shelby approached her for the first time since the fake prom debacle.

They both looked nervous, fidgeting with clothes and strands of hair as they walked over to Emma and Alyssa at lunch. Alyssa, who had been laughing at something Emma had said, sobered up immediately as she felt rather than saw Emma stiffen slightly at her side.

Alyssa looked over to see her former friends sit down opposite them, offering her awkward half-smiles. Emma’s hand found hers under the table, squeezing reassuringly as Alyssa took a deep breath.

“Hi, guys,” Shelby said quietly, looking the smallest Alyssa had ever seen her.

“Hey,” Alyssa said, looking between the two of them warily. “What do you want?”

Memories of the fake prom flashed through Alyssa’s mind; how terrified she’d been as she’d started to piece things together and how sick she’d felt at the thought of Emma alone in the school gym, tricked by her classmates into total humiliation. She thought about Kaylee and Shelby telling her that they _knew_ about her and Emma, and that Alyssa would thank them for this in the long run. She gripped Emma’s hand tighter under the table.

“We want to apologise,” Shelby said, and Kaylee nodded earnestly.

“To both of you,” she continued.

“You’ve already apologised to me,” Emma said. “This needs to be about you two and Alyssa.”

Shelby nodded, biting her lip as she met Alyssa’s eyes. “You’re right. Alyssa, I’m so sorry.”

“So am I,” Kaylee said. “Tricking you was wrong, and what we did was awful.”

“The worst part is we actually thought we were helping you,” Shelby sighed. “We were dumb, and it was wrong.”

Alyssa was floored (and although she was loathe to admit it, a little suspicious). “Did this change of heart come from Trent?”

Kaylee nodded. “He’s been teaching us a lot.”

“About all kinds of things,” Shelby said. “But mainly acceptance.”

“He hasn’t written any more terrible songs, has he?” Alyssa asked, only half-joking.

Kaylee and Shelby both cracked a smile, which Alyssa returned slightly hesitantly, and a strange silence fell over the four of them. Things were definitely still weird, but as Alyssa looked at her former friends – who once upon a time, hadn’t been all that bad – she got the feeling that even if the three of them were never friends again, that things between them might eventually be okay.

 

* * *

 

 

Summer vacation arrived, and with it, entire days spent with Emma. Now that Alyssa didn’t have to be cagey about where she was going, she and Emma had a lot more freedom. Sure, sometimes they’d just hang out at Emma’s place, baking cookies with her grandma (who adored her, according to Emma) and watching Netflix, but there were days where they both felt like venturing out into the world. There wasn’t much to do in Edgewater, but it wasn’t too far to drive to the nearest city, and so some days they’d head out and spend the day wandering around the shiny malls and finding a reasonably priced restaurant to eat lunch at.

Alyssa loved those date days, where they’d walk the streets hand in hand, and she’d have to physically stop Emma from trying to buy every article of clothing or piece of jewellery that Alyssa took a shine to.

“It could be a birthday present,” Emma protested as Alyssa dragged her away from a necklace with a little amethyst set in the pendant.

“My birthday isn’t for another four months,” Alyssa laughed.

Emma just shrugged. “Never too early to start planning.”

“Don’t even mention the word ‘planning’ to me,” Alyssa groaned. “I’m _already_ up to my ears in college and scholarship applications.”

Emma gave her a sympathetic smile, swinging their joined hands between them as they walked.

“How are things with your mom?” she asked.

Alyssa sighed. “Not any worse, but not exactly getting better yet.”

“She’ll come around,” Emma said. “At the end of the day, she loves you.”

Alyssa’s heart ached for Emma, and her broken relationship with her own parents – something she knew Emma had spent a lot of time talking to Barry about recently. Emma was usually mostly unbothered by not living with her parents anymore; she loved her grandma and much preferred living with her, but there had been times in the past where she’d broken down on Alyssa’s shoulder about how much she missed her parents, and how she just wanted them to accept her for who she was.

She squeezed Emma’s hand, bumping their shoulders together comfortingly. “I know she does. Or at least, I think she does. I just wish she’d actually talk to me about it instead of walking on eggshells, because I have no idea how I’d even begin that whole conversation.”

“Well, it’s lucky you’re so smart, then,” Emma said, kissing her on the cheek. “If anyone can get through to her, it’s you.”

Alyssa grinned. Emma was kind of cheesy sometimes, but in such an earnest way that it just made Alyssa fall more and more in love with her.

“Come on,” she said, untangling their hands only to wrap her whole arm around Emma’s shoulders. “Let’s get some lunch.”

Emma’s arm slid around her waist as they walked like it was second nature, and Alyssa wished they could’ve done this sooner. Be together in public. But the important thing was that they were out together now – that’s what Alyssa kept reminding herself.

And with Emma by her side like this, Alyssa felt like she never wanted to hide again.

 

* * *

 

 

It was two weeks into summer vacation when Alyssa had the conversation with her mom.

Even though she’d been wanting to have this specific conversation with her mother for a really long time, Alyssa still felt totally unprepared when Mrs Greene walked through the front door one Friday evening after work and asked her if they could talk.

“Sure,” Alyssa said, hating the way her heart immediately started racing. Because there was no other ‘talk’ it could be other than the one about her being gay.

She sat down opposite her mom at the kitchen table, acutely aware of just how much distance there was between them, and folded her arms in front of her on the table. Alyssa told herself to keep her back straight, and her shoulders relaxed; to appear more confident than she actually was, because the last thing she needed was her mother to start questioning how _sure_ she was about this whole ‘being a lesbian’ thing.

For the record, Alyssa was very, very sure.

Mrs Greene fidgeted with her hands, eventually resting them in her lap as she struggled to make eye contact with Alyssa across the table. Still, she didn’t say anything. Alyssa waited for what must have been at least five minutes before growing impatient.

She sighed. Maybe her mom wasn’t ready for this conversation after all. But just as she made to stand up, her mom’s hand shot out, hitting the table with a dull sound as her eyes widened in panic. The sight of it was enough to make Alyssa stay sat down.

“I’m sorry, I’m… I’m trying,” she said hurriedly, and Alyssa bit the inside of her lip. She didn’t know how much longer her mother’s definition of trying was going to cut it for. “I want to be able to understand.”

“There’s not much to understand,” Alyssa said. She took a deep breath. “I’m gay, mom. And, yes, I know how you were raised. How you tried to raise me, but it doesn’t change the fact that I am who I am, and I’m not going to apologise for it.”

Her mother looked at her for a long moment. “I don’t want you to have a—”

“A hard life, I know,” Alyssa said. They’d already been over this, publicly, when Alyssa had first come out. “But what you need to understand is that me feeling like my own mom doesn’t love me is what’s making it the hardest.”

Alyssa could see the moment that her words registered. Her mom blinked, her eyes filling with tears. Alyssa swallowed the sudden lump in her throat, willing herself to stay strong, to not cave in on herself and just submit to whatever was asked of her. She needed to get this out, and her mom needed to hear it.

“I know that you want what you think is best for me,” Alyssa said quietly, “but this… the way you make me feel sometimes, it’s been making me feel like I’m going to crack under it all. The pressure, and you not listening when I’ve been trying to tell you something important just because you don’t want to hear it… it’s got to stop. Please.”

Her mom just looked at her helplessly, and Alyssa took that as an invitation to continue.

“I know it’s going to take time,” she said. “I know things aren’t going to magically fix themselves overnight, that’s not what I’m asking.”

“What is it that you’re asking?” her mom said, and Alyssa couldn’t remember the last time she’d been allowed to speak so freely in this house.

“I’m asking for you to make an effort to change the way you look at me, and at the LGBTQ community as a whole,” Alyssa said, letting out a sigh of relief when her mom didn’t instantly balk at the suggestion. “I’m asking for you to think before you speak, and to listen to me about this because I can teach you. I can teach you that no matter how you were raised, you can be accepting of other people, and that who I love shouldn’t scare you. If you let me.”

Her mom was quiet for a long while, and Alyssa didn’t think she’d ever dominated a conversation between them this much in her entire life. It felt good to be getting all of this off her chest. Completely terrifying, but still good.

“I can… I can do that,” her mother said eventually. “I’ll try to be more… to be better.”

“Thank you,” Alyssa said, voice trembling slightly.

“I still won’t pretend to understand,” her mom sighed, looking very old and tired all of a sudden. “But you are my daughter, Alyssa Greene, and I love you.”

This time, Alyssa couldn’t stop the sob that erupted from her throat. The overwhelming relief that her mom actually loved her, mixed with the sadness that she still didn’t get it, mixed with the hope for the future, was almost too much to be feeling at once.

Her mom only hesitated for a moment before getting up and crossing the distance between them. She drew Alyssa into her arms, and Alyssa was too tired to fight it. She fell into her mother’s embrace for the first time in a very long while, screwing her eyes shut as the smell of her perfume overwhelmed her.

She regained control over her breathing, forcing herself to stop crying because as much as some steps had been taken today, there was still so many to take, and Alyssa just wasn’t comfortable crying like this in front of her mom.

She pulled back from the hug, wiping her eyes and taking deep breaths. Her shoulders were slumped forwards from the sheer mental exhaustion, and she didn’t want to look at her mom for fear of what she might see.

“Oh, my beautiful Alyssa,” she heard murmured from next to her. Alyssa’s breath caught in her throat again, because her mom sounded remorseful. She didn’t know that she was capable of remorse.

And there was a hell of a long way to go still, but a spark of optimism suddenly flared in Alyssa’s chest.

 

* * *

 

 

The rest of summer passed in a blur. Alyssa spent a lot of time at Emma’s place still, and more than ever it felt like they were a team – a real unit – something for which Alyssa was extremely grateful. Things with her mom had been steadily improving over the course of the summer, but they were still far from perfect.

Emma was leaning on Alyssa quite a lot, too; Barry had gone back to New York City near the end of summer vacation, along with Dee Dee. Angie had come back to Edgewater a couple of times since the prom when she could but had been very busy with her career as of late.

Trent was sticking around, though, as promised. He’d gotten a job teaching at the school and had been telling Emma and Alyssa all about the winter musical he was planning to put on at the end of the first semester. They’d already been roped into backstage roles; Emma had refused point-blank to audition for any of the parts despite having a really lovely singing voice, and Alyssa had just wanted to be wherever Emma was. She thought that they’d both had more than their fill of being in the spotlight, at any rate.

Sure enough, when senior year started that August, they were both thrown into the impressive amount of theatrics that Trent had managed to plan over the summer. The musical was Sweeney Todd, which Trent took great pleasure in reminding them all that he’d once starred in. The kids were happy enough, mainly because of the amount of bloodshed and murder in the plot, and Alyssa was really looking forward to seeing the reaction of the PTA once they got wind of it all.

Alyssa’s eighteenth birthday wasn’t far into the school year, and there was even a rehearsal on that day, which meant she got to spend hours after school with Emma and Trent. She was talking to Trent about Sondheim’s vendetta against him when they were interrupted by Kaylee and Shelby, who had a question about their ‘mental patient’ characters during the second act. Alyssa smiled politely at them; things were getting better with them too, but they still hadn’t talked much over the summer.

Alyssa excused herself, sitting down on one of the benches that passed as seats in the gym – Trent was trying to persuade the school to build a theater, but he hadn’t made a lot of progress so far. She felt someone sit down next to her, and she didn’t have to look to know that it was Emma.

“Hey,” she said softly. Emma had been sorting out a blocking issue with one of the scenes, the problem keeping her busy for the past half hour. Now, though, she smiled a little nervously at Alyssa and held out a carefully wrapped present.

“Happy birthday, Alyssa.”

Alyssa squealed excitedly. “But you already gave me a present this morning.”

“I may have got you two,” Emma shrugged, grinning bashfully when Alyssa pressed her lips to her cheek as she took the little package from her.

Alyssa unwrapped it carefully, revealing a flat jewellery box with a logo that stirred a memory in Alyssa’s mind, although she couldn’t quite place it. She glanced up at Emma, who was toeing the ground with her sneaker, biting the inside of her lip.

Heart beating loudly, Alyssa opened the box to see a little amethyst pendant glinting up at her. She heard her own little intake of breath at the fact that Emma had remembered about this specific necklace; had gone back to the shop and bought it after all.

“Emma, it’s beautiful,” Alyssa said, her hand automatically reaching for her girlfriend’s.

“It’s the same color as your prom dress was,” Emma said quietly.

Alyssa’s eyes snapped up to meet Emma’s at that, the mention of her dress triggering flashes of that perfect night, going through her head at a million miles an hour. The dancing, the whole prom itself, the time spent with Emma that night after the prom had ended. It hadn’t been an exaggeration to say that prom night had been the best night of her life, and to have this necklace as a permanent reminder of that…

“I love it,” Alyssa whispered.

“Yeah?”

“Yes. And I love _you_ ,” Alyssa grinned. “Come here.”

She tugged on Emma’s hand, pulling her close enough to kiss her properly. Emma melted against her, like she so often did when they kissed, and Alyssa loved it. She loved _Emma_. Fingers grazed against her cheek; Emma was always so gentle with her that way.

Kissing in public was still something that Alyssa was getting used to. She was still a little nervous about it, which is why Emma tended to let her initiate it when she felt comfortable. Alyssa was comfortable in drama rehearsals, and so she let their kiss continue for longer than she normally would. Caught up in the gift, and the memories of prom night, and the feeling of Emma’s lips moving against hers, Alyssa didn’t notice that they’d seemed to have attracted an audience.

A lone catcall brought her crashing back to Earth and she pulled back from the kiss quickly, cheeks on fire. Emma was glaring in the general direction of the catcaller. Alyssa gripped her hand tightly, taking the strength she needed from her girlfriend.

Alyssa half thought Emma was about to stand up and have it out with whoever had interrupted them, but she was beaten to it by Kaylee and Shelby of all people.

“Alright, who’s the loser who thought that was an appropriate thing to do?” Kaylee demanded.

Shelby seemed to spot the culprit – a sophomore boy in the ensemble. She stalked over to him, and Alyssa didn’t hear what she said to him, but the color drained from his face almost immediately. He shuffled away awkwardly to stand with his friends, and Shelby whirled around and met Alyssa’s eyes.

“If anyone else has any unwelcome comments about love, I’d save them,” she declared.

Alyssa was floored. For Kaylee and Shelby to actually apologise for the horrible things they’d done was one thing, but to actually defend her and Emma from something even as non-threatening (although no less wrong) as a single catcall was something else.

Alyssa nodded gratefully at them, and they both gave her hesitant smiles in return. Emma looked as stunned as Alyssa felt at the whole thing, even after the general chatter of the room had returned in the absence of a scene.

“Trent must have really gotten through to them,” Emma said, shaking her head in disbelief.

“You helped,” Alyssa pointed out, reminding Emma of the video she’d made; the video that had finally given Alyssa the courage to stand up to her mother.

Emma ducked her head modestly. Alyssa took the pendant out of the box and offered it to her.

“Put it on me?”

She turned around, resisting the urge to just lean back into Emma’s body as she fastened the necklace around her neck. Emma’s thumb brushed over her nape and Alyssa shivered. It was incredible, she thought, that even though they’d been together for so long her body still had the same reaction to Emma’s touch.

“Good birthday?” Emma asked.

Alyssa turned back around, running her finger over the amethyst set into her necklace. “Best birthday.”

 

* * *

 

 

“I’m nervous,” Emma said, hands fiddling with her clothes, her hair, her glasses – anything she could possibly use to fidget even when simply sat in her truck.

Alyssa caught Emma’s hands in her own over the handbrake, bringing them up so she could kiss her knuckles. “I know,” she said. “It’s scary. But it’ll be fine. Probably.”

“Probably?” Emma asked. “This dinner has to go well, Alyssa, she has to like me.”

“She wants to get to know you,” Alyssa promised. “It was actually mother dearest who suggested this dinner, after all.”

“I know, but maybe she’s using it as an excuse to very loudly disapprove of me and point out all my flaws in front of you,” Emma said.

“She’s getting better,” Alyssa said soothingly. And it was true. Things with her mom had improved a lot over the five months since their big conversation. She still didn’t completely get Alyssa’s relationship with Emma, but Alyssa hoped that would change once she actually got to know her. “I usually wouldn’t inflict my mother on anyone, but I think this dinner will really help her understand, you know?”

“I know,” Emma said, taking a deep breath. “It’s just that I also know how important this is.”

“My mother could never change my opinion about you,” Alyssa said. “Besides, I already know all your flaws, just like you know all of mine. So it’s all good, even if tonight doesn’t go perfectly.”

Emma laughed weakly. “When did you turn into the stoic one?”

“Must be your influence,” Alyssa shrugged, leaning over to steal a quick kiss as she unbuckled her seatbelt. “Ready?”

“As I’ll ever be,” Emma said, taking the keys out of the ignition and unbuckling her own seatbelt.

Alyssa held her hand out for Emma to take, breathing deeply as the butterflies started up in her stomach. After all this time, Emma was finally at her house. Her mother knew about them. The three of them were going to be having dinner. It was really happening.

She looked over at her girlfriend, who gave her a slightly nervous grin as they approached the front door. Alyssa had a key, of course, but she stayed still and nodded encouragingly at Emma, who reached out her hand and knocked on the front door of the Greene household.

“I love you,” Alyssa whispered, steeling herself as she heard footsteps approaching on the other side of the door.

The front door opened to reveal Mrs Greene, whose smile was mostly genuine and only a tiny bit stiff as she stepped aside and invited them in.

 

**Author's Note:**

> thank you for reading! please feel free to leave a comment - reading any and all of them literally make my life!


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